The flying shite.

I know a fellow who married in the early  nineteen seventies.He had little money and built a snug prefab in his parent’s garden.It was made from wood and rested on concrete pillars an average of three feet from the ground.It was fairly well insulated and cool in summer and warm enough in winter.Heated by electric storage heaters it was the grandest.It was plumbed for water and sewage.Because it was raised from the ground the service pipes had to insulated or they would freeze in winter.While he lived there he maintained the insulation on the pipes and heated the building in winter and the pipes never froze.

It served them well and they moved on.As he had many siblings and as space was constrained in the family home next door two of his younger brothers were glad to move in.They were either at school or college and had very little money.None of us had.In fact the two chairs they owned were rescued from a nearby river when it was flooded.The storage heaters were disconnected because they couldn’t pay for the electricity and the lagging around the service pipes fell off.

In the summers this made no difference but in winter the water within the building used freeze including the water in the toilet bowl.You get the picture.

The clothes line was immediately opposite the bathroom window and about ten feet distant.

One freezing winter’s day the water in the jacks was frozen,as was a brown trout embedded in the water.One of the lads was in a bad way to make a deposit.He hacked through the ice including the trout,placed it in a plastic bag and in his haste flung it out the window.His mother was advancing towards the clothes line and ducked as the parcel nearly took the head off her.”What in the name of God is that” she asked.”Well that mother is what’s known as a flying shite”.was the accurate reply.

Now Hogan the minister for whatever he is minister for has recently announced a plethora of future charges,about which more anon,including a tax on septic tanks.So as we can be clear on this a septic tank is built by a householder on his own property to process human waste generated by the household at no cost to the State.All the maintainance is paid by the householder.

We as a nation send monies to third world countries to improve hygiene and human waste disposal for reasons of good health practise.People here dig septic tanks for the same reason.Before their advent in rural Ireland people relieved themselves in the open air in all weather.Even the elderly.

Now Philo of the ranchers and  Eamo of the workers  (assuming they say the same in public and privyate) intend taxing us for this priveledge.It  was for this they were voted in.No doubt Angela and Nicholas and our good friends in Europe will pat them on the back(side)  for such innovative thinking and our spineless politicos and senior public servants will report this innovative move to the American diplomats and Euro masters as further evidence of our passivity.I can hear them say”we have them scared shitless”to the guffaws.

For myself I intend to go alfresco from the introduction of the charge and show the politicos who vote it in what I think of them by sending to them in their clinics or wherever they hide,once a week in rotation one only flying shite  as my contribution and I urge ye all to do the same.

Henceforth every time Philo comes to my attention I will think Philo an Caice. It might stick.