Double murder in Dunderry

Miss Hogett's pregnancy came to a sad end last week in one of the most sylvan settings in Meath.Church town to be exact.
Since being tipped by the horny ram a number of months ago she indulged in only the very best of grass ,tender shoots of hay and nuts to die for.
At 5.00 a.m.last Wednesday morning the labour pains started and she firstly delivered a hell of a fine lamb.She licked it clean but before she could organise a feed from her bursting elder for her first born the labour pains started again and she had to stand and deliver all over again.And after a half hour a twin no bigger than a man's fist was born.
As she licked the covering from her second born she remembered her first born and cast her eyes anxiously about for him.He has stumbled about twenty yards away from her and she could see in the dawn sunshine that a toxic combination of three magpies .two grey crows and a single half black /half grey crow were attacking the defenceless mite and she rushed to his defence.In the process leaving her second born defenceless.Whereupon the murderous amalgam turned their attentions back to the first born.And she rushed back again and again and again.
Eventually she ran out of breath by the side of "the fist "and stood  exhausted at his side.
In her brain stirred the memory of the arrival of the hated magpie in Ireland .The ba ba bastards were blown here for the first time by a tempest shortly after Cromwell murdered and lay waste the owners of the three green fields.They picked eyeballs till they busted .She trembled at the memory.And the grey crows ,rejected mutants of their own flocks ,soon allied forces with them in their taste for soft targets.
And true to form they picked first the eyes from her first born,followed by the flesh around his anus and then they burrowed into the remains of his umbilical cord and followed it into his belly.Lucky for him he died from shock as his second eye was plucked from the socket and his pain ended then.
Just as they finished THE MAN attired and drove them away.Too late.
The fist could not reach its ma's teats it was so small so the Man stuck 60 mills of colostrum into its stomach and boy did he enjoy it.For two days he was flying around and Miss Hogger minded him like her life depended on it.Certainly his life depended on her care.
On the third night he strayed from her side and made his way through the sheep wire fence around the field.He strayed into a steep hollow in the ground and could not get out  or back to  his ma despite his bleating and her agitated bellowing.
But a vixen did hear the commotion and mused around.
She couldn't believe her luck and with one shake of her powerful mouth she broke the neck of the fist and off with her to her own hungry brood.
I'm on the side of Miss Hogget and share her sorrow.
I despise Cromwell,Magpies,grey crows and foxes and their human counterparts.
Bad cess to them.