Caveat Emptor.

Before I forget about it entirely and forever I must pass on to ye how true this principle is, especially as it relates to the purchase and sculling of pints.
I knew this fella who in his teens spent some time as a part bar boy.
He was under the control of "Two times Tommy "so called because he used count in twos when taking stock going back to the start all of the time.
For example he would go like this when counting ",two ,two four,two ,four,six,two ,four,six ,eight and so on.".
He was rarely wrong in taking stock.
Anyhow there was a time when drinking pints of Guinness was a serious and enjoyable concern and was approached by some as a social and sociable endeavour.
Now Our Man was of such a nature and not only did he dress up in his second best clothes for drinking pints but he insisted that they be pulled by the Head Barman and not by any mere bar boy .Which irked our bar boy considerably Man would gladly order the pint from the bar boy with the caveat it had to be pulled by the Head Bar Man.
And so it went.Our Man drank Monday to Friday ,6 pints every evening and took Saturday off,to freshen up for Sunday's dozen from after Mass till teatime ,when he ate a light lunch .
Two Times was the Head Barman and had some sympathy for the bar boy and his humiliation.
He promised on the quiet to sort out Our Man and did so always on a Friday....last Pint.
He saved up the slops,those bits of beer skimmed from the top of the Pint as superfluous and slid into a tray out of sight of the punter.
It wouldn't be fit for human consumption but was great to move the bowels of constipated boar pigs and was much in demand for such.
The last Pint our Man got every Friday was three quarters slops wit a milky head to make it look good,
"Too good for the auld bollix "said Two Times."Yup"said the boy.
Our Man never associated his mildly upset stomach every Saturday wit anything other than "alcoholic constipation"which he put down to the lack of drink on Saturdays and the inability to Pass a Pub.
In Dunderry the craic never ends..